Nigerian PhD Student Who Left Nigeria for the First Time Shares Wholesome Experience

Cursory: Idowu Odeyemi, a Nigerian doctoral student in Philosophy at the University of Colorado Boulder, shared his experiences of living abroad for the first time. He discussed the kindness he encountered in Boulder, the challenges of being away from his family, and the importance of small acts of kindness in a foreign environment. Idowu also mentioned the significance of educational resources in his decision to study abroad and reflected on personal growth and cultural understanding.

Idowu Odeyemi, a Nigerian doctoral student in Philosophy at the University of Colorado Boulder, recently shared his experiences of living abroad for the first time. In August 2022, he left Nigeria to pursue his academic aspirations and access better educational resources.

Idowu expressed his astonishment at the kindness he experienced from professors and colleagues in Boulder, which contrasted with what he observed as a facade of respectability in Nigeria. He also reflected on the power of love in bridging societal divisions and separations.

Being away from his family was challenging for Idowu, particularly because he considered himself an introvert and the family clown. Adjusting his sleep patterns and social habits was necessary to cope with the distance and loneliness. In a detailed conversation, Idowu shared his first travel experience:

“The first time I traveled out of Nigeria was in August 2022 when I left for my doctoral studies at the University of Colorado Boulder. Before then, I did not have any reason to travel out of Nigeria.”

On his experience moving out for the first time, he said: “The experience, so far, has been awesome. For instance, in Boulder, the kindness of my acquaintances mesmerizes me. Coming from Nigeria, I find it astonishing when a professor in my Department offered to pick me up at the airport when he heard that I have never been to the United States. Or when my potential advisor invited me to his house and he cooked dinner while I pressed my phone. You’ll agree with me that my feeling of astonishment is valid.”

Yemi also touched on the importance of kindness: “The professor coming to pick me up goes a long way in telling me that I am not alone even if I feel alone; that there are people I cannot run to since I have no family here but there are people that are willing to offer their hands in places that might truly matter. And to be honest with you, Basit, these small kindnesses matter in ways that people don’t think about.”

On educational resources as the contributing factor for moving, Yemi said: “I decided to leave Nigeria when I got admitted into a Ph.D. program. And that is why I decided to leave. Also, the educational resources that I feel might be available here and unavailable in Nigeria were a contributing factor.”

Regarding his family, Idowu expressed that they missed him more than he missed them. Despite being considered an introvert, he played the role of the family clown, making everyone laugh with his dark sense of humor.

The absence of his clownish character left a void in the family dynamic. Being away from his family was difficult, but he acknowledged that it allowed him to reflect on his social attitude and the need to create his own happiness.

Yemi said: “My family misses me more than I miss them. (Laughs.) Even though I am considered somewhat of an extreme introvert by many, (for instance, someone in my Department said she never knew I could talk when I anchored the Black Excellence Dinner of my school), I am also my family clown.

“I am the guy in the family that makes everyone laugh. I also have a dark sense of humor that my family has come to appreciate. So sometimes, I exploit their vulnerabilities to make a joke. They laughed but they never always know who is next so they try not to laugh too much. But no one escapes Idowu’s Humorous Party. So when I left, everyone attempted to tear my eardrum with how much they missed my clownish character.”

Yemi acknowledged that it is difficult to be away from family. He told Legit.ng: “Being away from my family, of course, is hard. I have had to stay awake to talk to them. Some days ago, my sweetheart was telling me about how much I need to leave my shell and try new things (and by new things she meantt that I should go out, talk to people, go bowling, hike, etc.). After that conversation, I thought about it and I think being away from my family contributed greatly to my social attitude.

“During my first year in the United States, all I did was leave my house by 9:30 am, go to school (both weekdays and weekends), then go back home by 11 pm. There is something the feeling of nearby affection (either familial or romantic) does to our attitude and the lack of it, I believe, is kind of responsible for my social domicility. The conversations with R have been illuminating (even in ways she does not know): I have learned that as an expat you cannot rely solely on something or some people to move you, you have to be the cause of your own gaiety; the originator of your own enchantment. Reflecting on it, that isn’t an enormous price to pay.”

On late night calls from family: “Yes. My mother especially. And I give her that access since she misses me a lot. I miss her too. She has been my only friend since I was a kid. It also poses a great disadvantage because I don’t get enough sleep and there is that urge to catch up with her and everything that might be going on at home.”

Adapting to the environment has been easy, Yemi said: “It hasn’t been really hard. Or not even hard at all. They are people with a different sense of meaning; a different sense of culture; a different sense of understanding. And like I said previously, I am a pluralist so I have never had a hard time understanding people for who they are or what they do because, at the end of it all, we are just one: We are atoms floating in an unintelligible universe, creating meaning in a universe whose existence is futile.

“Maybe the only thing that has been hard to do is trying to make them understand me. You know? Take for instance, the Yoruba word “iyawo” (this is the only genuine example I can think of right now) is used to denote both a girlfriend and a wife. So when I use the word “wife” to denote “girlfriend” the gaze upon me is one of disapproval.

“A lot of such instances of failed communicative exchanges are because of the indirect way of using language in Yoruba and the very direct American way. Deducing meaning from a communicative exchange is audience dependent in Yoruba culture. In America, in a communicative exchange, meaning is hugely speaker-dependent.”

Source: legit.ng

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